Will you join me in this tantric experiment?
Dear friends,First I want to apologize for my unannounced long absence from this blog. Next I want to tell you what I did in this absence because in retrospect I realize that I was having an extended fabulous tantric experience. At first it looked like the long and...
What makes sex sacred? Healthy sex, what is that?
I certainly don't have all the answers for these questions, and because I don't, I have done quite a bit of research over the years to find out what different cultures during different eras of history have thought on the subject. What I found is that even though...
Great book on Trauma Healing
For anyone wanting to learn more about healing from trauma, either for yourself or for your lover, friend or clients, I highly recommend Babette Rothschild's latest book "8 Keys to Safe Trauma Recovery"."It is not how many years in your life that counts, it is how...
Opening your heart through sex: Last Part
Here’s another example of why attending to emotion during sex is so vitally important. Tom and Melanie’s sex life had been slowly declining over a period of two years after they’d been together happily for several years before that. Melanie complained that Tom didn’t...
Opening your heart through sex: Part 4
continued from last post ....... Allowing feelings will help you increase your sexual enjoyment. So make a little more room for your own emotions and those of your partner in your sex life. You won’t need to stop the lovemaking when something comes up. You can cry...
Opening your heart through sex: Part 3
To have truly great sex you need to open your entire self, and that includes your feelings, whatever they may be. It’s impossible to open your heart selectively. You can’t open just one part of you, just your “sexy, happy self” and keep the part other aspects under...
Opening your heart through sex:Part 2
When we open sexually, vulnerable parts of us may also come out, triggering various emotions. If we don’t resist this movement of feelings then grace can open up for us. The analogy of this truth, that we must embrace our shadow side in order to transcend it, is the...
Opening The Heart Through Sex:Part 1
(by Niyaso Carter) Deep and ecstatic sex touches us like few other things do. It takes us out of our normal, controlled way of being. It opens our breath, senses, feelings, and our heart too. This can be so lovely and beautiful, but also disturbing or exposing. When...
Brilliant and thought provoking: What to do in a relationships where one partner wants sex more than the other
Therapist David Schnarch has wisely written of love and sex starved relationships: "Given the mediocre sex that lies behind common complaints of sexual boredom, lack of sexual desire often actually reflects good judgement. Rather than focusing on the low desire...
Definition of a nymphomaniac
"Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man." Mignon McLaughlin
Viagra, to use or not to use, is that a question?
Here is an excerpt from Ian Kerner's book "Passionista" on the topic: "Viagra and its brethren not only reinforce the same old bad habits and often recreate the same old bad sex, but also refocuse the lens more intensely on coital sex, with the penis as its totem. As...
Tips for girls: The right and the wrong ways to tell him how he could please you more in bed
So what can you do as a female if you are with a guy, sex is good but could be better, and he is not proactive in making it better, like he does not ask the questions I suggested to guys in my last post but you would really like him to? The easiest solution is that...
Tips for guys: Questions that will transform your love life if you dare to ask them
Almost every time I work with new clients in my sacred sex coaching practice the sad truth of how lacking our western world was, and still is, in the area of sex education comes apparent once again. And I get reminded of how stifled almost every child and adolescent...
Great sex is like an airplane ride or: What to do when feeling ecstatic is not easy for you
I often compare fantastic, transcendental sex to taking off in an airplane. (Everything I describe here also applies to meditation, by the way.) You start out and all seems fine and then all of a sudden, the plane shudders because there is clouds. In the case of sex...
When Feelings come up during Sex
I'm well aware that in my last post I encouraged you to allow feelings to come up during loveplay and lovemaking rather then clamping them down when they want to bubble up in order to come to new and fabulous states of pleasure and intimacy, but that I gave very...
How to open to more pleasure when it seems impossible
During my postings about how to be orgasmic some weeks ago, someone asked: What if I can’t do what you suggested? What if I can't just relax and feel more of my body even on my own, let alone with my husband? What I am about to suggest can be applied by everyone;...
Are women who are able to ejaculate superior lovers?
I'm guessing that most of you have heard of female ejaculation, if not experienced it. Still there seems to be a bit of confusion about what it really is and what it really means. I was speaking to a journalist from Germany and she sincerely was under the...
If a man is able to have non-ejaculatory multiple orgasms does that mean he knows Tantra?
The answer: Not necessarily. Tantra is an understanding, an attitude of sacredness, connectedness and love. Having multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms is a biological function, that's it. It all depends what consciousness the man brings to the lovemaking whether it is a...
Great sex is in our blueprint
What that means is that our bodies and hearts have inbuilt all the information needed to have awesome, sacred, mind-melting, sweet, loving, fulfilling divine sex and this is true for everyone, no matter how much negative sexual experiences or even abuse we have...
Continuing on the topic of orgasmic potential for women
Since many of you asked me, I am pondering more ways to communicate to you how women can experience increased orgasmic enjoyment. This is a journey that is multifaceted and I cover it in great depth in my audio program "Tantra, Sex for the Soul" that you can find on...