Frequently Asked Questions: Tantra Retreat & Workshop

This FAQ answers questions about the tantra workshop and tantra retreat. For info about the Tantra coaching sessions go here.

What will I learn in your workshop?

We will be addressing all the different areas that make up sacred intimacy. Physical opening, cultivating energetic awareness, emotional opening, and learning how to bring love, spirituality, and sexuality together. The learning will happen on many different levels and touch many different topics.

I really need to learn some things in the area of intimate relating and sexuality and your workshop sounds great. But I’m a little nervous about coming. I can be quite shy with people when I first meet them and can feel awkward. Additionally, it can take me time to settle down and be comfortable in an unfamiliar group. I am concerned I may get to the workshop and find it goes too deeply too quickly for me.

We take great care not only to respect everyone’s needs and boundaries, but we take it even further. We support each participant to discover their needs, wishes, and boundaries and to honor them. Additionally, we honor your pace and timing and there is no pressure on how you should participate. The workshop goes deep, but not in the way you are fearing. The depth comes from the permission everyone has to be themselves and not having to fit into any particular activity. In fact, one of the things people find most impressive about our programs is how much permission they feel to discover and live according to their innermost needs and integrity. They notice how many varied ways there are to participate in our program. And yet how deep, powerful, and focused the work is, and how effective the learning is.

What happens in a workshop?

The workshop is a playful blend of gentle movement exercises, Taoist energetic exercises, carefully designed touching exercises, communication exercises, short lectures, sharing circles, and much more. It’s also designed and sequenced to facilitate learning and deep transformation on many levels, while also being relaxing, fun, nurturing, informative, and easy to do for everyone.

I am interested in your workshop and I am single. Is your workshop geared more towards couples?

This workshop is designed for singles as well as couples and is equally valuable for both. We have found that having a workshop available for both singles and couples makes for the richest learning experience. We have offered workshops in this format for many years now. And we create them in such a way that they are completely comfortable, safe, and effective for both, couples and singles. Sometimes we get just one person out of a couple coming to learn things to bring back home to their relationship, and that works too. Since we place so much emphasis on recognizing and learning about boundaries, every participant has many choices on how to participate or not to participate in any given part of the workshop.

Happiness and fulfillment in intimate loving are found when we learn once again to love all of our being. Regardless of what has caused us to distrust ourselves and others. This self-love is what allows us to be in touch with our sensual, sexual, and loving nature. Learning about our boundaries, needs, and desires is important whether we are in a relationship or not. The workshop setting is of course a different experience for a couple versus a single person. We address the different ways of being in the workshop carefully. When we honor our boundaries we feel safe and can then be fully alive and directly experience the sacred and divine aspects of our existence. That is what our workshops are about. It is for everybody, whether single or in a relationship. It is a total experiential education in sexuality and intimate loving.

Are these workshops designed with an emphasis on touching ourselves and our partners? Does it involve intimate touching of people other than our partners? I am mostly interested in a workshop that works on my inner sense of love, joy and happiness and expanding that to my partner.

Most couples that come to our workshops are there to be with and learn exclusively with each other and they do all the exercises together. Some couples may choose to do some of the less intimate exercises with others. Some may want to explore freely. Certainly touching people other than your partner is not at all necessary to get the benefits of this workshop. In fact, what you describe that you are looking for in your question is really what the workshop is meant to accomplish. I honor committed relationships as the best way to learn about loving and deepening one’s ability to love.

Among many other parts, touching exercises do play an important part in the workshop. You receive guidance and support while meeting with others, or just one other if you are attending with a partner. Additionally, you learn to connect more from your truth and to remain alive in your playfulness, your passion, and your desire, as well as your fears, instead of cutting off and isolating yourself. You also learn to enjoy your desire for intimate contact, to honor your boundaries, and to communicate both.

I'm hoping this workshop will help me improve my self-knowledge and increase my personal strength, while reducing my dependency in intimate relationships. Very recently, I ended a relationship, and feel the above issues are a large part of that. Do you think it's too soon after my break up to come to your workshop?

It actually sounds like it may be a good time for you to attend our workshop because you are in the process of really looking at yourself in the area of relationships and what might have been your part in why it didn’t work. Our workshop very much supports this kind of self inquiry with intimate relating. The nature of the work and the space that is created invariably assists people in finding themselves more deeply.

I need to make some improvement in my relationship but my partner is not willing to come to the workshop. Is it appropriate to come alone?

Yes, in fact lots of times only one partner in a couple attends a workshop. They then take home to their partner the tools learned in the workshop and all the insights they had. Participation in our seminar will not compromise the sanctity of your relationship.

For singles, how does the pairing up happen in your workshops?

As mentioned earlier, there are always many options for each exercise. If an exercise involves pairing up with someone, we will usually describe the exercise and its purpose beforehand. If the participant chooses to experience the exercise, they can choose a partner or say yes or no to someone who chooses them. On occasion, we may suggest someone for you to work with. We also spend considerable time discussing boundaries and honoring one’s own needs and desires. There is nothing haphazard about how we support people in approaching this pairing-up process. Many times this process in and of itself becomes a constructive learning and healing experience. No part of the workshop is mandatory, so the choice to sit out for an exercise is always an option.

We already have your video and liked it very much. We are interested in your workshops and would like more details. Do they involve practicing the techniques shown in the video?

Some of the exercises in the video are taught in the workshops, but the workshop space is also very different and covers much more. In the workshops, we have both individuals and couples participating, so there is a wide range of how people choose to use the invitations we offer. Some of what you saw on the video is practiced and many new exercises are introduced. All can be done at different levels of participation.

Our focus in the workshop is not on teaching techniques but rather on providing experiences for people that teach them how to be more fully alive and in love within themselves and with their partner. In our workshops, you learn meditations, energy processes and communication tools that keep you profoundly connected with yourself as you engage in intimate encounters. These encounters are sometimes more, sometimes less sensual and erotic. You learn how to move through old barriers that have prevented or sabotaged your intimate connections and love relationships.

I am wondering if there is nudity in your workshop? I am also concerned about the possibility of being put in a situation that may be construed as voyeuristic?

There is no requirement for nudity at any point during our workshop, however, we do have a clothing-optional policy in the workshops that are longer than a weekend. How much clothing you wear or how little is a very personal choice and it is important for each individual to honor what is right for them. In the workshop, we encourage people to respect their personal preferences in this matter and in all other matters. No nudity is required to receive the full benefit of the workshop. Voyeurism has never been an issue at any of our workshops. Our programs are far too authentic, as well as emotionally and physically engaging as to attract or sustain voyeuristic behaviors.

I have sexual abuse issues. Is this the right workshop for me?

It depends where you are in your journey of healing. Most likely, if you are at the stage of being able to speak about your issues and know them a little bit, which obviously you are, you are at a stage where the workshop can be a fabulous way for you to heal more and regain some long lost joy. It is totally understandable that you may be scared and apprehensive about joining. I have worked with these issues a lot and understand the dynamic of fear coupled with a longing for healing and I always take extra care with the more delicate people in the workshop. You can always call and give us your specific situation and we’ll let you know whether we think the workshop is appropriate or not.

What do you hope for people to experience or learn when coming to your workshop?

There are a million ways to answer this question. But I’ll keep it simple. We do everything we can to give people a fun, playful, uplifting, and deeply nurturing experience that is simultaneously educational and deeply transformative. We’ve been teaching these workshops for a long time now, so we’re pretty good at it. People go back home with new tools and insights as well as a deeper sense of self-love that makes their love life and their life in general much better and richer.

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