Why are intimate relationships often so difficult?

or maybe a better questions, why are relationships always so perfectly imperfect and what can we do about it?

By and large relationships tend to be imperfectly perfect. By that I mean that we choose exactly the person who can touch our soul, and help us learn our lessons the best, but that doesn’t always mean that we’re happy about that. The way it seems to work is that we rarely choose a partner who is easy for us, but rather a partner who is exactly who we need them to be, to help us grow spiritually. This is true even if we don’t have any spiritual aspirations whatsoever.

We don’t often choose someone who understands us all the time and who supports us unconditionally. We seem to choose precisely that person who will touch our vulnerable places the most, the things we’ve come to this earth to heal and grow through. Our soul lessons are often our blind spots and we need someone to touch them or we would ignore them. We need someone to touch them so that these wounds or soul questions can come to our awareness and be addressed and healed. Our partner seems to manage to find those spots just fine. That’s the gift and the challenge of intimate relating. Unfortunately, very often, especially in the heat of the moment, we don’t remember this. We just know that our partner did exactly the opposite of what would’ve felt good to us, and we have a lot of feelings about that.

When a couple looks from a higher perspective, they can often see how perfect they are for each other. It’s part of my job to remind couples of this purpose of their being together. It’s not wrong that you are having challenges and problems come up, it’s part of the design of things and not just an awful mishap. Just keeping this understanding in your awareness can change how you deal with situations. It will help you negotiate ways to lovingly grow and heal together. It will help you face your own pain with vulnerability instead of shutting down or blaming. You can even learn to have fun with the inevitable comedy and drama of it. And the outcome, if you keep bringing your love and creativity to it, will be fabulous.

Excerpted from the audio program ” Tantra, Sex for the Soul” by Niyaso Carter for testimonials and details clicjk here: https://sacredloving.net/SacredSexStore_pages/Audio5CDs.html

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