What is healthy sexuality? Does it matter that we know?

Despite all the exposure that sex has in the media these days it still remains a topic of great mystery and confusion. Far too few people enjoy a consistently  fabulous, nourishing sex-life.

How do we define a healthy sexuality? Personally, even after 25 years of working as a sacred sex educator and Tantra teacher I find the answer is not at all easy. But just for fun and to give you some food for thought I’d like to draw you a picture.

A sexually healthy being, to me, is someone who is able to experience their own body as a pleasurable place to be, with or without a partner. Someone who can receive touch and enjoy it, someone who knows what touch they like and what touch they don’t like and is able to communicate these facts clearly and effortlessly. Someone who can receive feedback  about what touch their partner likes without getting their pride hurt  and can respond to directions from their mate about preference of touch with ease and a sense of curious discovery.

Someone who finds the act of lovemaking, when they choose to engage in it, pleasurable and fulfilling most of the time and ecstatically inspiring and deeply moving at least some of the time. Someone who is able to be honest about whether or not they are enjoying a fulfilling sex life because they trust and listen to themselves. Someone who is choosing to do something about it if the sex that they are experiencing is not as good as they sense it could be. Someone who has the ability to choose a partner or partners that they can find fulfillment and growth with in the matters of love as well as sex. Someone who knows how to enjoy themselves alone, live fully with and without others and transform their sexual energy into any creative act they wish.

What I also consider and important and healthy part of sexuality is a curiosity about where it can go? A willingness and knowing that with time it will only get better and that the possibilities are limitless.

In the ancient days of India the secret sects of Tantra emerged. The Tantrikas were people who understood the potential of sexual energy and decided to do explore, experiment and study it. Eventually they took on students and taught others about it. It’s sad that these ancient schools in India have long disappeared, that we can’t just book a plane ticket and go there and learn.

That’s why I created the audio program “Tantra, Sex for the Soul”. It offers insights, principles and exercises for people to work with on their own personal quest for sexual health and happiness.

For details about the audio course click here:



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