This one liner above says it so succinctly that it is almost unnecessary to say any more, but just in case you are not sure how this can be applied in down to earth, practical terms:
What does it mean to run toward God? It means to run toward loving ourselves completely. Running towards God and loving ourselves are one and the same thing. But what does it mean to love ourselves and how do we do it? The idea of loving ourselves gets a whole lot of air time in spiritual circles, so let’s take a look at what it actually means.
The other day a young student who was facing frustration in his dating life was asking for help. When I suggested that he notice what he might be doing vibrationally inside himself that made him repeatedly feel attraction to women who did not want to commit to him, when I suggested he look at the places inside where he was not fully committed to himself, not loving himself enough, he genuinely asked. “What does it mean to love myself? How do I love myself?” I could feel his was such a genuine and real question. He really wanted to know.
Basically, whenever you don’t feel completely good for whatever reason, it is because you are telling yourself something about yourself that is less than kind, you are not loving yourself. Yes maybe someone on the outside was uncaring or rejected you, but this can only make you feel bad if you somehow believe that it is your fault that this happened, that you are somehow less than fabulous, which of course can never be true because we are all a part of this amazing, loving universe.
But it is easy to feel bad when things don’t go our way, and the reason we feel bad is because of what we tell ourselves that this means. We take it on as our fault. Somewhere in our past, and this is true for almost everyone, things happened that made us feel less than adorable, less than welcomed, less than lovable, less than deserving of the best. This was because our caretakers or teachers were unable to give the kind of unconditional, undivided attention we would have liked. As little ones we did not have the ability to say to ourselves: “Well, this mother of mine is really messed up and stressed out, let me not take this personally.” No, we took it very personal, in fact we internalized this. If we didn’t get our needs met, we thought, as those little ones, “It must mean that I don’t deserve it and that must be because I am not good enough.” Many times such false beliefs about ourselves get put in place long before we are school age. These internalized negative messages towards ourselves happen often before we can even talk, sometimes it happens already in the womb.
Having things happen that make us feel bad about yourself and then figuring out that it’s a lie that it’s not true that we are bad, discovering that we belong to love itself, seems to be part of the curriculum of planet earth. So our job now is to catch this negative self talk, and when we notice it bring loving kindness to it. When you can do that then you will feel happy no matter whether you have a lover or plenty of money or a prestigious job. Feeling love, loving and loved just for existing is really what we are here to remember.
So, be gently vigilant, notice how you are talking to yourself? Anytime you don’t feel good you can bet that you are not talking nicely to yourself, that you are not loving yourself.
So when it comes to finding the right partner rather than trying to be someone better for someone else, or try to look better or be smarter or whatever, give yourself a break and ask yourself, what would someone who loves themselves do? What am I telling myself about myself that is not loving? The more you love yourself authentically like this, the more you vibrate the kind of vibration that by the law of attraction will bring to you the love that you desire.
Another great way to learn to love yourself is to think of someone that you truly love unconditionally, sometimes it’s a pet or a small child or baby or a beloved grandparent. Think of someone that you have no reservations about loving and then treat yourself like you would treat that person.
So when you run towards God by doing this self loving, if you come across someone that is willing to do the same inner work of loving themselves, that’s when you want to introduce yourself, but chances are good that they will introduce themselves before you even think to.
As always, I invite your thoughts and comments. This theme of self love is so important and so big that any tip you want to contribute about how you are loving yourself is so very welcome.
with warm Aloha, Niyaso