Valentine’s Day is over, let’s reflect and ask…Am I loved?
Now that Valentine’s Day – the day of romance and love has passed it’s a great moment for reflection of what it brought up for us. Holidays have a way of triggering thoughts and feelings in us and this is not a bad thing, we might as well use the stuff that comes up as an opportunity to learn more about love. Have you taken the time to reflect and ask yourself, Am I loved?
Did your heart flower with love?
Were there moments of feeling lack?
Did you have moments of joy and contentment?
Was there a sense of wishing your life situation was different?
From speaking to many of you over these last days, I’m guessing that is was a little of all of the above for many of you.
On the surface it can seem pretty different what couples tend to go through and what singles seem to experience in respect to the topics of romance and love, but underneath the issue is the same. Are we loved? Are we love-able? Are we good enough? Are we doing it right?
Of course this can often show up in the guise of questions such as:
Why is that person not showing up for me in a better way? Why am I not finding the right partner? Why is God not giving me what I so desire?
But if you search a little deeper the questions our inner children are asking are more along the lines of: What’s wrong with me?
Nothing s wrong, of course. We are just lacking the clarity and awareness that we are loved not matter what. We are loved by the wind in the trees, the stars in the sky, the snowflakes falling on us, even the rain and mud. We are loved by existence itself.
But we have not learned to let ourselves feel this love that is always available. No one has shown us how to receive it directly, without the aid of the great lover or the perfect job/house/car/you name it. We are too busy comparing ourselves with others, often unconsciously comparing with images from television commercials. How real is that?
This comparing can show up differently for couples and singles but it is the same question underneath.
To a person in a couple it is usually that they feel lack of joy, happiness, great sex and stuff like that and relate it to their relationship. Couples feel that either they’d be happier if the partner was different or if they were with a different partner or or if they were more free to do whatever they liked, or more supported and loved in the way they want.
Many singles feel that if only they had a partner, all would be well. Even though this is true a lot less than in former times there is still quite a bit of a stigma attached to singledom. For example most TV ads depict happy people happily enjoying stuff, think of the ones advertising cars for example, all showing a happy couple or family driving in them, or how in a commercial a drink is never enjoyed alone, etc. For singles it’s often a feeling that we must be lacking if we don’t have this person in our lives that can make us happy. Singles forget that many couples aren’t all that happy and some are outright miserable.
We don’t need to have this imagined happy relationship in order to be happy.
Happiness can be practiced.
What would happen if we stopped thinking that the grass is greener somewhere else?
My invitation to you is to consider the following questions:
What if where I am and what I am experiencing right now is truly the most perfect thing for me at this time on this journey on planet earth?
What if existence is truly benevolent and there is a stream of love always flowing and I only have to trust and relax enough and I will drop into it?
What if its true that I am loved and love-able just as I am right here right now, even without all the people or stuff that I think I need?
Instead of disproving that you are loved, invite existence to prove to you that you are, and become willing to find evidence.
I hope you have fun with these pondering and watch your reality shift as you feel more loved.
Remember, if it feels good it’s right. You are loved. As always I welcome your comments, even if they start with a “but” or “I disagree”.
-with love, Niyaso
Please, click on the orange FREE AUDIO button in the right hand side of the page. The ancient Tantra teachings are great for both singles and couples. If you would learn more about tantric teachings, purchase Tantra, Sacred Sex of the Soul (5-CD Set or MP3 format) and other products are available in the Tantra and Sacred Sex Store.
I invite you to schedule private Tantra coaching sessions with me available by phone, Skype or in person.
