sorry it took so long to post part 2 of this article, I guess it will show up in pieces
So now to what a woman can do. If you have not read the first part, please go to my post from March 3
In a nutshell, for a woman to find her full orgasmic potential she needs to relax and trust. She needs to not just trust her partner, but most importantly she needs to trust herself. She needs to trust that no matter what has happened to her, she has full access to total sensual pleasure. Even if she is not able to feel a whole lot just now, she is not irreparably broken. I’ve already said that in my experience, for a woman to be sexually fulfilled it is not important that she be orgasmic. A whole woman is so because of who she knows and feels herself to be , not because she is able to have amazing vaginal contractions. So please, no matter where you are on your sexual journey, you must not buy into the belief that something is wrong with you just because you don’t have those easy mutliple orgasms just like that. Of course there is levels of feeling as well as levels of numbness that many women experience. And my rule of thumb is, if you think that there is more pleasure for you to be had, then I fully agree, yes more is possible for you. But does that make you somehow inferior, just because your are not there right now? I sure don’t think so.
But back to what to do. If you like to take it on, I have an assignment for you for the next week. And boys, you can do this too if you want. But follow the instructions to the letter.
It’s very simple: Pursue pleasure.
Seek out physical pleasure in any way you can. Take a bath with just the right temperature and just the right essential oil scent or foam or whatever feels good. Do some movement that your body enjoys. Lie naked in the sun for those of you who can find some sun, find some really enjoyable new music, watch some really enjoyable images. Include all your senses, but especially engage your kinestetic sense, the sense of touch. Wear silk or other clothing that feels good, get a massage, take a sauna followed by a cold plunge, get some exercise that you are not used to to experience your body differently. Do anything and everything to come more fully into your physical senses. If you have a partner ask for something that you have not asked for before that you think might feel good.
As you spend the week seeking out pleasure notice whether it’s easy and fun or not, note what thoughts and emotions doing this assignment brings up in you. Just take note without judgement. Try to just let it be fun. No matter how succesful you feel you are at it, let it be good enough.
Just one more thing to this assignment, very important, stay away from orgasm. Nothing wrong with orgasm, it’s just not part of this assignment. If orgasm happens that’s not the end of the world, but seek pleasure without looking for orgasm, just be sensual. Revel in your sensual nature.
Your body it is never the enemy, if it doesn’t tick how you want it to it’s because it is waiting for the right situation and the right connection, not only the right connection with another person but also the right connection with yourself. So if you are someone who is not able to feel as much as you would like to, start noticing what situations make you feel the most pleasure. Is it a warm bath, a snuggle, is there a point at which your sexual contact switches from feeling great to you going numb or even feeling badly? Stay where it feels good. Be shameless about pursuing your own pleasure, without disregarding anyone else of course.
Pursue the stuff that feels good, elaborate on it, not with any goal in mind other then sensual enjoyment, feeling good. And if in doubt relax a little more. and then relax a little bit more, and then relax even more.
This assignment is a start, one small thing a women can do to open up to more pleasure. More to come soon,
I always love to hear from you, I love your questions and want to hear about your concerns
with warm Aloha Niyaso