When asked the meaning of the word Tantra, most people, or at least those who have heard the word before, understand it to mean some kind of spiritual version of sex. And when they hear the term “tantric sex” they think of sex plus, sex 2.O, a version of sex that is somehow elaborate and full of complex technique.
What these definitions that people have got in their heads, albeit erroneously, have in common, is the idea that Tantra has something to do with sex that is at least a little complicated. People think that you need to have all kinds of special knowledge, practice intricate techniques, or perform convoluted ritual to have tantric sex. An Australian friend of mine jokingly teased: “Tantra is souped-up nookie.”
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Tantra is about being deeply in tune with nature, and that means relaxed, effortless, easy. Tantra is really the practice of getting closer to our natural state of being, which is a being utterly trusting and at ease. It is the very antithesis of complex ritual. We can all be natural Tantrikas, practitioners of Tantra, if we would only allow ourselves to trust our bodies’ and hearts’ innate wisdom.
Let the image of the cats in the tree that’s part of this post stimulate this sense of deep trust and relaxation in you.
But we have been so derailed from trusting our instinctual, intuitive, natural selves, our bodies and hearts, that we have trouble allowing this inner knowing to come out.
Most people, men and women, boys and girls alike, are so insecure and mis-educated in the area of sexuality that they don’t trust themselves any more.
And modern media is so far off the mark of what is natural that young people believe that they are somehow faulty, clueless and deficient and so they try and mimic what they see on film or read in magazines and books in order to measure up.
Nobody is natural any more.
To me the only point of any techniques when it comes to practices of Tantra are those that help you unlearn all the unfortunate conditioning and false concepts that have plagued our societies down the ages.
So my advice to you: Give up all role models, try to forget all the images of sex you’ve seen on any screen and dive into your own body for the truth. The only role models worth listening to are those that light up your body and heart and being all together where you don’t have a shred of a doubt in your heart that it is right. If you can’t find such role model, go to your body for the answers. Our bodies never lie. They know exactly how to make beautiful, divine love.
This diving into your own body takes guts because what your body will ask of you may not look like the images that you have of the perfect sex act. If in partner ship you may need to have a conversation about what your body and heart has to say.
There may be some awkward, embarrassing moments.
Are you courageous enough to weather those?
I promise you that the outcome of your new found authenticity will not only be a better sex life; you will also fall in love with yourself and the whole world more deeply than ever before.
As always I welcome your thoughts and comments.
If you want more support on how to listen to your body and find your authentic inner knowing you can use my audio program Tantra, Sex for the Soul as a resource. For info about it, click here Tantra, Sex for the Soul