Finding a relaxed & deeper way of lovemaking may involve both partners letting go of too much intense genital stimulation before lovemaking. Having a lot of clitoral stimulation for women can be like having a quick pleasurable experience at the expense of a more prolonged, deeply touching one.
Often, I call the strictly clitoral orgasm the “instead of orgasm”. Sometimes, a clitoral orgasm can be the most fabulous, loving, moving, spiritual experience! But sometimes it doesn’t allow her pelvis to open or her vagina to relax, so she can become more receptive, soft, sensitized, trusting and able to feel. It’s just that certain kinds of clitoral stimulation can make a woman tense, numb or hyper sensitive.
Too much stimulation can not only desensitize a woman’s clitoris, but men have a similar problem: the man’s penis can also become hyper sensitive due to excessive rubbing, making him excited too quickly and he may not be able to withhold ejaculation long enough for the woman to experience her pleasure.
Excerpted from “Sex for the Soul,” an Audio Home Study Course on Tantric Sex